Lyfe Jennings "Statistics"

10 Things A Real Women Should Know and please feel free to add-on.

http://thejourneyislifebutbringnobaggage.blogspot.com/

I have made lots of mistakes, some more than once and others more than twice. There comes a day in a real woman's life when she is able to put all the mistakes of the past on a shelf and refer to them for life lessons. I admit, I have a library of life lessons. I have loved poorly. I have judged harshly. I have broken promises and broken hearts. I have misjudged my worth while thinking slutty was the new Sexy. I have.....but I have learned:

1. Slutty is not the new Sexy. Sexy is confidence. Slutty is lack of confidence.

2. I can cook like Grandma. This allows me to take some old school lessons and remix them into new school living. I am the woman of my home.

3. In order to truly be in charge you have to let a man think he is in charge.

4. The art of love making starts with taking care of myself sexually. Before I can be satisfied sexually, one must know what satisfies them.

5. Nagging never works. Planting seeds and nourishing those seeds will make it hard for the weeds to take over.

6. Virtue truly is one of God's gift to women.

7. A real woman should know how to take care of herself without expressing it every ten minutes to her partner.

8. Choose battles carefully. Everything cannot be an issue other wise you are looking for perfection. Only relationship deal breakers should bring out the beast.

9. A real woman should never threaten to leave a relationship. She should be confident in her place and when and if the need arises and your mind, body and heart are ready to leave, just leave. Trust they always want the good ones back.

10. A relationship is sacred and should never discuss the intimate details of her relationship.

10 Things to be Grateful for During a Recession!

It is always easy to complain and only see the negative things that are happening around us, but right now our entire country is feeling the effects of greed and selfishness. In the midst of that it is still important to find positive energy and too always be grateful for nothing therefore grateful for everything! Here are just a few things I believe we still need to be grateful for during a recession.

1. If you have a job say Amen. Many people have lost their jobs and have no idea where the next buck is coming from.

2. If you were able to get unemployment say Amen. It is not what you are used to living off of but is something.

3. If you have a roof over your head say Amen. During this recession many people are losing their homes and those of us who still get to go home and kick up our feet and turn on the heat or the air-conditioner need to thank the heavens.

4. If you are still able to put food on the table, again say Amen. I have met people who have always provided for their families without government help and are now forced to put pride aside and get food stamps and or wait on food pantry lines.

5. If you are able to get government assistance like food stamps. Their are many families struggling yet unable to get help.

6. If you have a family around you say Amen. Family reminds us that we are not perfect and they are there so we do not have to go through these experiences together.

7. Ladies if you can still go to the hair dresser, say Amen (twice). This means that the recession is not affecting you at all. We still have surplus income and can afford some luxuries. Listen I stopped by lunch so I could go to the beauty parlor. LOL.

8. If you have your health. Many people are suffering because health bills are draining them spiritually and financially. Healthy people, even if you do not have a job are able to get up and still look for work.

9. I hope I don't sound racist but if you are black during this recession be grateful. We come from a people that have always made a way out of no-way. Say Amen.

10. If you have realized that not having as much forces you to spend more time with your family. Yes, we can't go to the movies as often but we can make a special dinner at home and watch a movie together. We can talk more and make ourselves more vulnerable. We can have pillow fights and remember a time when our lives were not consumed with stuff.

P.S. If you have realized that God is trying to get your attention and make you realize what is really important, say Amen!.

10 Books to Read this Summer! Enjoy

I love reading. I am a single working mother / student and I really do not have the money to travel. Books allow me too travel the world and experience other peoples lives. I can be judgmental and no one gets hurt. It also allows me to forget about my problems for a little while. Here is a list of books I recommend that you read this summer.

The Shack by William P. Young

This book will challenge how you feel about God and his purpose for us.

The Secret by Rhonda Byrne

This book about the law of attraction and how we can change our lives by living telling and the universe what we desire while making room in our lives to receive blessings.

A New Earth:Awakening to Your Life's Purpose by Eckhart Tolle

"I didn't realize yet that thinking without awareness is the main dilemma of human existence" (p. 32). This book follows the same format as the secret but its words are delivered in a gentle way.

Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

This was a great book about the journey a woman takes once she discovers the life she is living is not her authentic self. She goes on a journey around the world discovering life's simple pleasures.

A Letter To My Daughter by Maya Angelou

Maya Angelou has a wonderful way of telling a story revealing her truths. She gives you the facts and allows women to feel adequate in their inadequacies. An easy read that will reveal how similar we all are as women in our hopes, fears and mess-ups.

Midnight by Sister Souljah

An urban writer, Sister Souljah has the ability to point out the worst while highlight the best of the Black Experience in America. This book is fiction and will allow you to momentarily leave your life behind.

A New Day by Margaret Johnson-Hodge

A struggling single mother discovers love with a successful man and discovers that life owes her nothing. She must believe that she deserves better. A simple book but very inspiring.

The Red Tent by Anita Diamant

Jacob's daughter Dinah is the narrator of wonderful story of women who come together each month during their cycles to discuss the joys and pains of womanhood. These women are women I would love to meet. As women we have evolved into superwomen but these women stop the work of women each month to rest for an entire week. How many women would trade life's advances for a week off every month. Me!

The Borgia Bride by Jeanne Kalogridis

This book takes place in 15th century Italy. Sancha de Aragon, Princess of Naples is beautiful and is used as a pawn to establish ties with the House of Borgia. This book is full of passion, suspense and a woman who is unafraid to stand up for herself and even..... a must read!

Zipporah:Wife of Moses by Marek Halter

If you love reading books about strong feminine characters you will love this book. Zipporah is a biblical character brought to life in this fiction book. She loves moses but refuses to be his wife until he fulfills his destiny. This is one of my favorite books.

*BONUS BOOK*

Push: A Novel by Sapphire

Oprah Winfrey and Tyler Perry have purchased the rights to this book and now movie about a young inner city girl who had been abused and raped. The story is written in the words of an illiterate young woman and as she learns more about herself her vocabulary increases. This book will make you feel disgusted. I cried and prayed for this young woman. This book is raw and not intended for the timid.

10 WAYS TO GET ON A TEENAGERS NERVES

OKAY, I AM THE MOTHER OF A TEENAGER AND HE INSISTED THAT I PUT THIS OUT THEIR TO ALL THE PARENTS.  I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THIS IS GOING SO FORGIVE ME!

1. Giving the same lecture over and over. They insist that they heard you the first time.
   
2. Asking a lot of questions. I then had the nerve to ask "questions about what"? and I got the look of death.
   
3. Acting too cool. They want us to be their parent.  
   
4. Choosing their friends. From what I understand the more you try to do this the more it is going to backfire.  They are away from us all day, they have hours to spend with these so called friends that you don't like.
   
5. Spying on them.  Now for me this is one of those things that I agree with.  I believe in being more upfront.  I am not going to spy. I am going to tell you that I am looking.
   
6. Acting perfect. This was a big one.  My son and I have a good relationship because I have always been human. He knows the things that I did when I was his age. Parents need to stop walking around as if they did not commit sins in their youth. It would be easier to parent with the truth instead of with fear.
   
7. Say one thing and do another.  How can you raise responsible children if you are not responsible.  
8. Talking about them positively or negatively to your friends.  This is a big one because I can remember getting in trouble as a teenager and listening to one of my parents tell a friend made me want to tell my parents personal information to my friends. Just to hurt them.
9. Comparing them to others.  Child comes home with a bad report and the first thing parent says is why can't you be more like "so and so's " child.  None of us wants to be compared to anyone else. Our children are unique and they should be judged against their own abilities.  That requires knowing them.
10. Asking them their opinion then knocking that opinion down.  First they are a part of us but they are not us. They are traveling down a different journey and they will have many ideas that we do not support and attacking those thoughts is not going to help them be thinkers of the world. Another thing, as youth they are forever changing, they might feel how you feel in 10 years.  Tell them how you feel but do not knock how they feel.

10 THINGS YOU CAN DO TO HAVE A WONDERFUL NIGHT ALONE

It is so important to know who you are before you can be in a successful relationship.  One of the ways I believe you can get the ball rolling is to spend a wonderful night alone.  Here are few suggestions:

1. Be alone.  Alone means alone, not with the kids and not on the phone.  Not in your bedroom while your husband watches the game in the living room.  Kick everybody out and be alone.
   
2. Choose a good movie.  Something that will make you happy, not some heartbreak love story.  A feel good movie.
   
3. Cook yourself a good meal. Something in the supermarket that you would not by normally for the family.  Maybe two lobsters or a nice piece of salmon.  Splurge with a glass a wine, while listening to your favorite music.  I don't drink alcohol so I will bust open a bottle of cider.
   
4. Take a bubble bath with your favorite bath oils.  This bath is not about washing. This is about luxuriating and just letting the problems of life disappear for a little while.
   
5. Sit on your bed, find your best lotion and rub yourself down.
   
6. find your best pajamas.  I love pajamas.  If you don't like pajamas walk around naked.
   
7. Have a fashion show.  Try on your clothes and make yourself a supermodel.  Just let go and have fun.
   
8. Okay, have you ever sang into a brush.  Turn up the radio and sing like Whitney Houston.  And IIIIIIIIIIIII will always love  you.  Have fun.
   
9. Satisfy yourself.  OK I said it. I really believe that as a woman in order to be truly satisfied you have to know what satisfies you and yes I am talking about sexually.  Please yourself and enjoy it.
10. Lay in your bed and reflect on all of the things that you like to do. Remember who you are.  Thing about the different types of partners that will compliment you.  Fall asleep loving you.

10 Things I know for Sure

No long speech. I am just gonna get to the point for a change.

I am sure:

• That faith has been my parent when I was not wise enough to think for myself. God is the only one who knows all things.
• That the roots we have become as adults are a direct result of the seeds planted in our childhood.
• That each of us has done something that could have landed us in jail. All Human Beings makes mistakes
• That each of us has a fascinating story to tell.
• That judging others is a way of overlooking our own faults.
• That my child does not belong to me. He is a gift from God and I was chosen to lead him to his already decided destiny.
• That fear is the root of evil!
• That being miserable and a constant complainer is a form of laziness.
• That our children are misguided because we have misguided them and are in denial.
• That love has the power to break you down and build you back up but trust that it makes life worth living.

BONUS

I am most sure, that the more I think I know the less I really understand and therefore sure of nothing.

10 THINGS THAT WILL MAKE SOMEONE KILL YOU

Rules, Rules and more rules. Rules are everywhere;most for our protection, some I haven't figured out their need. Like why is it legal to smoke cigarettes that will kill the smoker and those around the smoker and not Weed which only makes you slow and snacky. I don't smoke but I don't get it. Anyway, let me get back on track because this is not about that today. Today I want to know why people know most of the unwritten rules to life but still choose to enter Pandora's box. With that said, keep it up, keep not listening and don't heed this list of things that "MIGHT" make somebody kill you!

1. If you cheat and get caught in the act, in the bed you share with your mate
2. Contracting an STD
3. Molesting someones child
4. Raping someones loved one
5. Stealing the Rent Money
6. Allowing a man to pay child support for a child you know is not his and he finds out it's not.
7. Murdering a loved one
8. Snitching. Live by the sword die by the sword!
9. Being stood up at the alter and you find out you can't get a refund.
10. These days, ladies if you marry a man and he loses his job, he might kill you!

10 things that will help you raise healthy children even if the relationship has failed

I am a single mother, well sort of. I have a soon-to-be 16 year old son. I am very proud of him and I have to admit that I did not do it alone. His father has always been in the picture. Early on his father and I decided that we were not going to be able to have a successful relationship. It got ugly. Their was lots of fighting, arguing and attitude. One day, I was sitting with my son, I looked into his big brown eyes and decided that he needed and deserved what I had never had; two parents that loved him in spite of their issues. How did we achieve this, I will tell you how.

1. Never and I mean never talk about the other parent in front of your child. Your child is equal parts each of you and any negative comments will permeate his/her spirit.


2. Understand that the relationship being over has nothing to do with your child. Grow up! You made this bed. You lie in it. Your child should not have to suffer because of this relationship mistake.


3. Your child deserves two parents that love him/her. Stop saying mess like, we don't need you. You ain't sh*t and any other expletives. "We". This is not about you once again. Your child needs the other parent


4. Child support is not a weapon. Women, this is for the care of the child, not your trips and finger nails. Men, clothing is not support when lights, gas, food, soap and a list that could take up 10 pages is required.


5. Never use words like my child. It makes people seem included when you use terms like ours.


6. Never undermine the other parent. My son knows that in order to be able to do something, he has to get two yes's. One no and it is a no and that is that.


7. The rules in each parents home may be different. Get over it! If your child is not being mentally and physically abused mind your business. Just one of those things you should have thought of when you laid down to make children.


8. We are living in a new time when many people are single parents. It is important to change with the times. I believe that it is important to be inclusive for holidays, birthdays, activities and school events. We go as a family because whether you like it or not we are. With that said. Let the sexual relationship be over. Children do not need to live with your mixed signals.


9. Learn how to choose your battles. Everything is not a fight. I know as parents we want to protect our children but the fighting only makes whatever the problem was even worse. If a parent has stood up your child, no need to fight. Your child knows what happened. Make no excuses for the other parent. Let the absent parent ruin the relationship all on his/her own.


10. Pride. Get rid of it. It is a cancer in any relationship. The needs of the children always come before your own. That does not mean putting up with mess that you have no business putting up with. Remember, in your heart you know if you can make improvements and trust letting go of the bitterness will also make for a healthier and happier parent and parenting experience.

10 Reasons Why You Should Talk To Your Kids About SEX!!!

I cannot believe that in the 21st century parents are still afraid to talk about sex. Worse, most of us remember not receiving enough information and the trouble that got us into. I am shocked at the number of parents who really forget what it was like to be young dumb and excited and not know why?

I am the mother of a 16 year old son that I am very proud of. My parents gave me little to know information about sex. They were strict and when my hormones began raging I went to friends who knew less than I knew but made it up along the way. I had sex at 16 and really believed foolishness like if you had sex standing up you couldn't get pregnant. Well I got pregnant at 16.

That let me know that the sex talk would not just be a talk but it would be a life sharing experience that we would have on a continuous basis throughout his life.

I am happy to say that I have a well informed child who communicates things to me that would shock most parents. One time right before he turned 10, he asked me what does sodomy mean. This was even a lot for me, but I also realized that I had to tell him the truth because asking me meant that he had already heard something. Imagine him in the school yard and someone asks him, "Hey kid, you ever been sodomized." Not knowing any better and too embarrassed to say that he has no clue what that means (as most kids are) he answers, "yes." Now do you understand how important this is?

I have shared with him my ideal and I have also shared with him what to do in a realistic situation. He says that he is not having sex and I believe him but I have still let him know where he can find the condoms and have provided him with a young adult that I trust to talk to if he runs into trouble. I am very proud of him. So hear we go.

1. What you don't tell your child, somebody else will and the information being circulated is from people who have no clue either.



2. They know more than you think they know. We are living in a technological age and they have instant access to information.



3. When you make things taboo, you make it that much more exciting. Children like to rebel, it is part of their natural instinct as they navigate becoming adults to do what we don't want them to do.



4. It will create a special bond between your child and yourself. There will now be nothing that they cannot come to you about. Also realize the sex talk is not just about the act of having sex but what comes before that and after. Talk about relationships and what to expect. Talk about feelings and responsibility. Talk about body parts. Talk about the ideal relationship and what that feels like. Discuss your morals. Show them the consequences of being irresponsible. Show them what STD's look like. Take them to see teenage mothers whose dreams have been deferred. Just keep talking and showing.



5. These discussions will keep you informed with the stages your child is going through. They will also force you to remember who you were at that stage of your life.



6. If you are afraid to talk to them, trust that they are also afraid to talk to you. If they cannot confide in you then, really what kind of parenting are you really doing.



7. Talking to them about sex will make them stronger and wiser when faced with temptation. Especially young women, they go into situations unprepared and feel trapped. Information will give them courage and they will learn how to spot deception.



8. Sexually transmitted diseases are more real than they have ever been. If it were up to me, my child would remain a virgin until retirement but I know that we are sexual creatures and as we mature so do our feelings and desires. Yes our children have desires, didn't you!



9. There are many people out there ready to use your children's naivete's against them. We cannot afford for our children to live in a bubble because eventually the bubble will bust and they will be in uncharted territory.



10. Not talking about it does not mean that it is not happening. Let me get graphic. My son told me that some girls that he knows are giving "Rainblows" Let me explain; 1 boy, many girls each with a different shade of lipstick trying to reach the top of the boys shaft. Whoever gets the closest wins. Trust, this is definitely lack of information and along with lack of information comes lack of self-esteem.

BONUS. Parents it is time to stand up and stop being punks. At the root of all your concerns is fear and I am more afraid of the consequences associated with not gifting my child with usable knowledge.

10 Ways to be a Perfect Parent

I was watching Oprah the other day and my insides wanted to jump through the TV. I couldn't believe that mom after mom thought she was Superwoman; and a bad super woman at that. Motherhood in the 21st century is hard mostly because we make it hard. We overindulge our children because we live over indulged lives. We have to have everything right now and if we don't the universe is going to open up and swallow us up into the pits of mommy hell. Get real. I have discovered that mommyhood is an extension of our greatest insecurities and those insecurities we pass on to our offspring. The best gift that I can give moms is that our children DO NOT BELONG TO US. They are gifts from God. He has already given them instruction. It is called purpose. Our jobs as moms is to guide them along the journey a

nd give just enough not to take away from who God already made them to be! See was that hard! Let me give you some fool proof tips on being a perfect parent!

1. Quit aspiring to be a perfect parent. Perfection does not exist and those that seek perfection are always happy because they are walking down a never ending corrodor.


2. Don't take yourself so seriously. You can only do what you can do.


3. Stop putting your life in what I call the "Keeping up with the Jone's Marathon". It does not matter what the neighbors have. You are outside looking in and have no idea of what really goes on behind closed doors to make life seem fabulous. If it were up to me each child would have one afterschool activity each per school semester. There is nothing wrong with waiting to try out new experiences. Stop trying to squeeze it all in.


4. Remember that there is nothing new under the sun. If you have done it or thought it their is also a world of others who also have done it. That includes praying and Asking the stork to return and take these little people back where he got them from.


5. Do not parent children as you are. Parent children as they are. Each child is different. Learn to listen to them. Watch them. Let who they are guide the experience. I was a very sensitive child and the mere threat of being in trouble would scare me straight. My sister, however, you could have thrown her from the top of the building and still not have made a dent in that head of hers. It was not necessary to punish me as severely as her, but they did and I resented it. My child loves technology and I love taking it away.


6. Enjoy punishing them. If you did something wrong, you must pay the piper. Discipline teaches children Know that you are doing the right thing. Know that it is in the best interest of producing healthy, giving and and prepared human beings.


7. Enjoy saying NO. None of us gets what we wants and neither should they. Even when we deserve it life has a way of letting you know that fair is not always equal and equal is not always fair. This also teaches children to think outside of the box.


8. Stop crying about what you can't give them. Do you best and that is enough. PERIOD.


9. Stop believing that you can do this job, the way your mother did it. We live in a different time with a different set of responsibilities, like triple the mortgage payments.

10. Stop believing that you can do this job alone. We used to live in communities that included and appreciated extended family. It is time to make extended families where aunts and uncles and grandparents all each play an integral part in raising children. Independent means alone.


11. BONUS.  Enjoy them. Even ten minutes a day spent without giving orders and looking them dead in the eye, smiling as they show you who they are, will make all the difference in the world.  I wish you the best!

White House Internship Program — York College / The City University of New York

White House Internship Program — York College / The City University of New York

10 Don'ts to Help Navigate a New Relationship

Speaking from personal experience, I will tell you that I have hurt and been
hurt and am glad to say that now I have come full circle. Life is not easy
but if we follow our hearts and remember who we are as individuals we can bring
our best selves to a new relationship. Many times we come heavy in pain
and covered with a bruised heart. We live in a world that promotes
selfishness and yet each one of us whether we admit it to ourselves or not, seeks
love. Love takes strength. You have to believe that whatever happens you
will bounce back. Sometimes you will get hurt but the walls built around
fear have never stopped people from coming into your life. They have only
stopped the right people from coming into your world. Be bold, be
beautiful, be you and be loved but don't:

1. Don't impose demands on somebody you just met.
2. Don't stalk him/her on cell phone or at work.
3. Don't get mad if you make plans or plans change. ie. over time , sick
4. Don't have sex unless your ready for whatever may happen good or bad.
5. Don't introduce to family members ie. children unless both parties agree that we are in a committed relationship.
6. Don't be what you think he/she wants you to be. Be yourself, be real, it is better to not be liked for who you are than to be liked for who you are not. Also, it is easier to be yourself. When the relationship is over you don't have to go on a quest to find the old you, it will be right there. If you cannot be your authentic self in a relationship then you are not ready to be in any relatioship.
7. Don't assume that what a person says is who they are. Let time and their actions reinforce a persons character. First impressions are only representatives of who a person is.
8. Don't do things for your mate that you are not committed to continuing forever. (Ie. put on sexy lingerie two years later you have on a flannel pjs and an ugly head tie)
9. Don't assume your partner knows what you want. Relationships are not common sense. We all want and need different things. Discuss relationship expectations without scaring eachother off.
10. Don't bring baggage from past relationships. Ie. cheating, he never called so now I think when you don't call your cheating. Give each person a new set of trust and love.

• *DO NOT NAG* This can drive a person to drink. State what you want and move on. If you don't get it, trust that you have received your answer and make a decision to stay and deal with it or leave.
  

10 Things Friends Should Never Know About Your Relationship

NEVER TELL

Most people have been in a relationship where far too much information was shared with friends and yet, as we embark on new relationships we insist on continuing to follow patterns of destructive behavior that continue to have negative consequences in your relationship.

Please stop doing this. "DON'T START NONE, WON'T BE NONE!

1. Never share sexual experiences with friends. Although most of us can't wait to tell our friends about a good experience or a bad experience, it is nobodies business. Sex is and should remain a private act between only those parties concernced. We blindly give information, unsure of what really is going on in the minds of our so called friends. Don't be upsed when you catch your "friend" in bed with your remarkable lover. (NEVER TELL MATES PENIS SIZE).


2. Never allow friends in bedroom you share with mate. In my opinion your bedroom is a personal space. This intimate space should be treated sacred.


3. Never tell friends about markings on your lovers body that may be located in "private places.


4. Never tell friends about problems you are having in your relationship. First off, many of them have no clue how to help you and offer advice that will only make matters worse. Some are miserable and misery loves company. Most of our friends do not specialize in "Making Relationships worse". If you need to discuss relationship problems with someone, look for someone who seems to be in a healthy relationship or an elder who has been through many things. Also, sometimes when we complain about mates we forgive them the next day and forget that our friends are loyal to us and have not forgiven them as easy.


5. Never allow friends to tell you what you should and should not do in your relationship. What is right for you has nothing to do with what is right for them. Do not let what other people think ruin your relationship.  This goes back to No.4


6. Never tell your friends what your man or woman does for you. If your man or woman gives you money or cooks for you, enjoy it! Most times we are bragging when we share this type of information. Don't rub it in!
   
7. Never share your mates quirky behavior.  Ex.  If your man shave the hair off of his private parts or your woman shaves the hair off her lip.  As long as when they step outside, we all look good.
8. Never share what you think your mate "might" be planning.  Ie.  I think my boyfriend is going to propose to me.  or, Ie. I think my girlfriend is gonna get me a threesome for my birthday. I say this because most times when we assume, you know what they say.  Just avoid the embarrassment.
9. Never discuss your mates bad habits or pet-peeves you have against mate. Ex. Leaves pubic hair on the soap.
10. Last but not least, never share your mates secrets. If your mate has shared a secret with you it is because they trust and feel safe with you. Telling your friends is a violation of the relationship and shows that you are not really truly invested in securing that trust and security. It is none of your friends business if your mate has been abused or has had some tough time. Also, assume that if you have a big mouth and you are supposed to love this person, that the person you tell is going to tell one of their friends and so on and so on.       
    

WHEN YOU ASSUME

I have a friend who assumes that her friend is in an abusive relationship. She called me and said she had some real "dirt" to tell me. I got all excited thinking that I was going to hear something interesting, Uhh, not so!

First off abuse is not dirt. It is a serious act that should never be taken lightly.
Second, did anyone hear the word "assume.
That means that we do not know!!!!

10 Things That Need To Happen If You Suspect That Your Friend Is An Abusive Relationship!

1. Go to a reputable online site about abuse and read up on signs of abuse and what to do in this situation.


2. Call your friend more often and try to make lunch dates.
   
3. Listen
   
4. Initially give no advise. This is not about what you would do or what you think you would do. I am sure their are a number of situations where you did not do what was best.
   
5. Look for signs of physical abuse like bruises. Long sleeve shirts in the summer time. Sunglasses at night. (I know its cool now but it looks stupid).
   
6. Do not judge. This will call them to pull back. Share stories when you were in tough situations.
   
7. Never talk negatively partner. They really may be in love and it is not for you to decide what love is or should be.
   
8. Talk openly about how much you care for this person, letting them know that no matter what happens in life you will be their for them, even in the middle of the night. Leave the door open for communication.
   
9. Remember that abuse affects self esteem and lack of self-esteem perpetuate abuse. Find positive things to say about your friend.
   
10. Never give up on your friend even if you have to be in the background.
    
    **** My friend should have never told me about this. She should have been too busy trying to find out if this physical abuse was true.http://www.healthyplace.com/abuse/break-free/break-free-from-domestic-abuse-domestic-violence/menu-id-797/

SURVIVING A TEENAGE CHANGELING

I am the mother of a teenager and like all teenagers they are interesting creatures. Sometimes he reminds me of a changeling. One minute we have a sweet (I like to help the elderly across the street) young man and the next minute we have a crazed (mommie you just don't understand)lunatic. Otherwise my son and I are very close. Close enough for me to realize that these are could be the worst or best years of his life depending on how I choose to participate and or respond.

10 ways to survive living in a house with a teenage changeling

1. Choose your battles carefully.
2. Make compromises with methods of self expression. Does it embarrass you or is it really offensive. My rule for my son is that as long as your pants are not hanging off your but, I am good. That is my non-negotiable.
3. They are not adults, do not expect for them to act like mature responsible adults. Expect that they will make more mistakes in these years than ever before. Teach them to think learn from them.
4. Sex and drugs should never be taboo subjects that you are waiting till they are ready to discuss. What that really means is until you are ready. They live "in" the world so access to false information is at their fingertips. Kill the curiosity cat with knowledge. One conversation is not enough. These conversations need to last throughout their life.
5. Never be a hypocrite. Teenagers see who we really are so remember that when you are asking them for perfection.
6. Never compare them to their friends good or bad. See them as individuals and judge them against their own successes and failures.
7. Stop being shocked. Remember being a teenager. Share your stories with them. You will not lose parent points you will take away there need to rebel. It is only rebellion when they think parents are naive. I expect that my child will child everything and hope that he will try nothing.
8. Things will never make them happy. Accepting them for who they are and not who you want them to be is a gift we all seek. Teach them to give and to think and to see the world. Teach them to be apart of problem solving. The world has enough judgmental complainers. Show them that to be part of family is to part of a team that works together through thick and thin for the greater good. Set family short term goals.
9. Know that they are going to push you away as they go on their journey of self-discovery. Embrace it. Like a loved bird, they will find their way back.
10. When all else fails ignore them.
Bonus: Technology is not the enemy. Learn to use it! Trust me!

I Know Nothing About Blogging

I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT BLOGGING.  I probably should find out where the word comes from.  That just occurred to me!  I feel like a foreigner trying to find his way in the new world.  I've found a place to live but none of my neighbor's speaks my language.  I hope that makes sense.  I guess like anything else, as I become more comfortable, I will acquire more skill.  Hurry up skill!

Initially I thought that blogger's were a new breed of couch potatoes who prefer to remain ononymous because it is always easier to be a faceless keyboard typing critic.  Truth I still feel that way. This is an assignment.  I am hoping that I will change my mind and find a new outlet for expression.

My blog is going to be simple.  It is going to be about life. I will never be judging or condemning.  I will take what little I know about life and share it with you. I enjoy collecting quotes.  I will take those quotes and sometimes write words of wisdom. I am the mother of a teenager. I will be telling you some of the ways I make it work.  I am a bargain shopper.  Life as a single full-time working mother of a teenage son who attends school full-time and somehow makes it work.  Remember, the journey is life, so live!