The Journey is Life, Bring No Baggage

SURVIVING A TEENAGE CHANGELING

I am the mother of a teenager and like all teenagers they are interesting creatures. Sometimes he reminds me of a changeling. One minute we have a sweet (I like to help the elderly across the street) young man and the next minute we have a crazed (mommie you just don't understand)lunatic. Otherwise my son and I are very close. Close enough for me to realize that these are could be the worst or best years of his life depending on how I choose to participate and or respond.

10 ways to survive living in a house with a teenage changeling

1. Choose your battles carefully.
2. Make compromises with methods of self expression. Does it embarrass you or is it really offensive. My rule for my son is that as long as your pants are not hanging off your but, I am good. That is my non-negotiable.
3. They are not adults, do not expect for them to act like mature responsible adults. Expect that they will make more mistakes in these years than ever before. Teach them to think learn from them.
4. Sex and drugs should never be taboo subjects that you are waiting till they are ready to discuss. What that really means is until you are ready. They live "in" the world so access to false information is at their fingertips. Kill the curiosity cat with knowledge. One conversation is not enough. These conversations need to last throughout their life.
5. Never be a hypocrite. Teenagers see who we really are so remember that when you are asking them for perfection.
6. Never compare them to their friends good or bad. See them as individuals and judge them against their own successes and failures.
7. Stop being shocked. Remember being a teenager. Share your stories with them. You will not lose parent points you will take away there need to rebel. It is only rebellion when they think parents are naive. I expect that my child will child everything and hope that he will try nothing.
8. Things will never make them happy. Accepting them for who they are and not who you want them to be is a gift we all seek. Teach them to give and to think and to see the world. Teach them to be apart of problem solving. The world has enough judgmental complainers. Show them that to be part of family is to part of a team that works together through thick and thin for the greater good. Set family short term goals.
9. Know that they are going to push you away as they go on their journey of self-discovery. Embrace it. Like a loved bird, they will find their way back.
10. When all else fails ignore them.
Bonus: Technology is not the enemy. Learn to use it! Trust me!